The Truly Lovely Things!

THE THEME

It's so weird how a diagnosis like this helps you to focus on what's truly important!

Who cares about the past?  No one knows what the future holds.  (Though Paul's Magic 8 Ball said "It is Certain" when he asked if I'd still be around in the next 5 years) The precious present moment and above all, finding JOY in each day come to the very foreground.  Kindness! - and LOVE with a BIG CAPITAL "L"! 

Of course there's a bit of the practical.  You get angry, terribly sad because you think of all the BIG - and I mean BIG - plans you may or may not get to, and the losses of friends and family. (I made Paul take me to Costco to get one of those mega-multi packs of tissue boxes)  And your Estate and Will and all that crap...  But overall it's about LOVE - and the TRULY LOVELY THINGS in life.   

So that's what I'll focus on today - THE LOVELY THINGS.  I have a big day ahead of me.  More brain "radio-surgery" this morning (I'm actively wondering if I'll loose my curls soon - my scalp is prickly) and a huge, protein only/no carbohydrate dietary restriction today in prep of tomorrow's PET scan.    (I'll try to write some about that stuff in a few days about radiology - cuz it's nerdy and technical and I also like that stuff, and I had them take some photos)

OUR KIDDOS 

Paul and I have 3 amazing kids - who are actually young adults now - but you get it! - They grow up!   We're so proud of all three of them.  It's so fun to think back to their personalities when they were babies.  And you know, they are the exact same people, personality wise right now!

Alaena is our oldest.  She's turning 30 in mid-May.  She's creative and smart and courageous!  She's an Architect.  She's not a knitter (I won't hold it against her - and knows how to wear a good sweater) But she's a maker!  She's been building and drawing since she could hold scissors and a pencil.  When she was only 6 or 7 years old she walks down to the kitchen to show me a blueprint of her "dream horse barn".  (Oh how  I wish I still had it.)   

Growing up in Ohio, when the other little girls were in our driveway playing with their dollies - Alaena was the one building the houses out of cardboard boxes.  There's also a ton of other philosophical stories about her too.  She thinks with BIG ideas and a BIG heart.   An amazing daughter to have.

3 years later, came William.  We never in a million years would have thought that "Will" would also define his personality - but that's what happened.   Determination, curiosity, figuring out how everything works.  But a "Will"-full personality of joy while he was doing it!  He was by far the one most difficult to just keep safe.  I could do an entire blog just on his antics alone, because every single day - there was something.... and I don't want to forget them.  I want our family to remember them.  I'm probably the most like him in how we think - which has it's ups and downs, if you know what I mean.  Lots of great academic conversations, but tons of head-butting too.

And now - he's a Computer Engineer for Qualcom in San Diego, CA.  They make the microchips that are in almost EVERYONE's cell phone - and believe it or not - your cell phone has base code that he wrote on it.  I'm so proud of him.  He's 26 and living the dream.

And lastly comes our kindly, Luke, who we affectionately call our "Gentle Giant",  our "Happy-Go-Luke-y".  He'll be turning 25 this month!  He's always had the BIGGEST heart.  He can be quiet - but gets to know/connect with people - and always seems to stand up for the little guy in BIG ways and do the most generous/unselfish things.

He's had a circuitous path to finding himself.  A bit non-traditional.  But its working for him now.  At 18 he went off to college - and it just didn't fit.  Didn't know what to study - I think it was hard for him, having 2 unusual older siblings that just seemed to know their callings.  He wasn't interested in the general classes they were putting him for the "undecided" major.  We talked, and he dropped out, and lived at home, and he found a job.   I think it was "the job" that gave him clarity, focus and the self-efficacy that he has today.  

He was hired by Starship Technologies - to work with the little food delivery robots on the University of Wisconsin campus!  He loved it!  In the past, he had some food service background from working the Crema Cafe when he was in High School.  He also loved video games and was great with a joy stick - not to mention he's kind of techy.... it was a great fit.  Everything in one package.

He started remotely piloting delivery robots at sites all over the world.  Helping with the robot roll outs on campus.  Doing some of the smaller maintenance jobs.  After a bit of time, they hired him to manage the UW site - in his early 20s.  Next they added to his plate and gave him University of Chicago, IL and University of South Dakota to manage too - at like 22 years old.   I can't believe he did this at such a young age, but he was so well liked and dependable and it worked for him. (Did I mention he's and Eagle Scout)    Unfortunately, as a start-up with venture capital dollars, Starship restructured - basically eliminating his position for everyone across the company - but he bounced back.

He's studying in an industrial automation and robotics program now - and will graduate this December.  I couldn't be prouder and can't wait to see what he does next.  I'm so excited to see where this next chapter holds for him.

THIS PAST WEEK HAS BEEN SO FILLED WITH FAMILY & LOVE!

Heavy Sigh - The evening of Thursday, March 20th - after getting home from the hospital, we told the kids.   So much gravity and unknown in their young adult lives.  And that's when it all changed.   I have been surrounded by absolute and unconditional love.  

We've been doing all the things!  Before treatments started we took a weekend day and drove to Horicon Marsh for a hike in the sunshine.   It's just lots and lots of geese right now - little migration yet (Alaena is a HUGE birder)  Swan pairs, pelicans, some coots.  And good jokes too - we had 4 of us in the car - and we had 4 pairs of binoculars and my witty Luke just says "That's great...Looks like we're all Knocked-up!"    He just throws those one liners and has us all giggling.  

William flew home the next day from San Diego and has spent the week with us.  Oh - what a joy that was!  He just joins in with the rest of us in town and we're off and about.  

We took a few short hikes at 9 Springs - and Lake Farm Park.  I'm spoiled rotten to have it only a few miles from my house, but we already saw bluebirds flying from fence post to post as  they do.    I'm so excited about that.  Cranes - of course -and many others.

There was a woodcock in my side yard - I had to quickly put out an "Alaena - Bird - Alert" notification through the house- and we were both freaking out.  So close to my bedroom window and they are such a weird bird....kind of like us.  Look at them if you get the chance.

And just family togetherness - cooking amazing meals.  Sometimes I'm chiming in from the couch if I'm not feeling great - but most time's I'm kind of a kitchen conductor - making it all go/coordinate.

For those of you who don't know - I'm  completely Gluten Free.  Haven't been able to eat gluten for well over a decade.  Asian dumplings always used to be so tasty, and I missed them.  Well - I found this recipe for these GF Thai dumplings a few months ago that taste AMAZING - and we made them - and they are super UGLY because they are GF - and we flavor-doctored them of course because when we cook - a recipe is only a suggestion to us (Coming to think of it, I kind of knit like that too)  It was the best night!  Full bellies! - So, so good!

We decided to take a trip to MMOCA - our Madison Museum of Contemporary Art. Conhttps://www.mmoca.org/  to see the Birds and Blossom Japanese Woodblock Print expedition.  I think it's only there through this weekend, but I was so glad to see it.  Our kids love Japanese culture and of course nature - and it was the perfect cultural outing for us.  Everyone was in tow- including Paul's 94 year old mom.  Such an great little afternoon.

IN SUMMARY

And those have been our highlights.  William flew back to San Diego and we're missing him -  I just finished a round of 3 radio-surgery appointments and we have other appointments too.  Alaena is moving this upcoming weekend.  I'm hoping to spend some time with friends knitting.

But mostly it's been taking the time to tell my people and family and friends  - people I wanted to hear directly from me.  

And now - I'm going a bit wider - more public.   I've cancelled most spring shows aside from the really close ones - and have basically "parked" my business until I have a bit more energy.

I consider myself to be a more guarded/private individual and I don't like being too public - but I'm finding this process extremely cathartic.  It's helping me to process things.  In opening myself up to you a bit - If you want to know - you can.  If you don't - that's okay too.

But for those who want to know - it spares me the "re-hashing"  the details which isn't necessarily a waste of time - but being a sensitive introvert - I can sometimes find it exhausting.  And- I just want to spend my time enjoying YOU and friends and family - and this provides me with just that.

Thanks for taking the time to listen.

Post your knits - cuz they inspire me in ways that you don't even understand!

Love each other and take care,

-L