How Did This All Begin???

ME & THE WEATHER

I've always considered myself to be a bit like one of those old side show performer/anomalies.  A weather prognosticator.   If it's low relative humidity - my hair is (relatively) straight.  If the humidity goes up - I'm your CURLY girl.  If there's a weather front moving in, I'll get a headache.  It always aligns - I'm a mystical meteorologist.   As I've grown older - I've noticed these occurrences a bit more.  I'm just assuming I'm more in tune with the world.  A bit of a sensitive...I seem to absorb or notice EVERYTHING. (Ahh the plight of the introvert - it can be exhausting!)

WHAT STARTED TO HAPPEN?

So about mid February, Wisconsin has a few weather fronts move through.  I feel my head pressure go up - that's normal.  I'm working hard, physically - but this time I notice some sparkles in the upper right hand corner of my eye.  It's happened before, and I know people who have "migraine with aura".   I move about my day.  

But then it turns into this silvery, almost oil-slick like ribbon with color that keeps dancing in the corner of my eye.  It was so weird.  I sat down - thinking - "well shit, am I having a stroke?"  I don't want to be alone - just in case - so I call my next door neighbor and asked her if she needed a Susan Crawford for Supreme Court sign, and we met at our fence and talked for 20 minutes.  I'm not an alarmist and keep a pretty level head - might as well be logical about this too. 

During this time, my silver streak moved around a bit in my vision field, staying mostly peripherally.  Then the periphery started to go a bit more grey.   All this time we're talking about our dogs and the scary authoritarian politics etc...

And then it stopped, but followed my some pressure in my head - and the typical headache....  

In upcoming weeks this happened twice more - not too frequently.  By that time, I've read everything on the internet....Not a stroke.  Definitely migraine, but now with Aura!

I told my husband Paul about it.  For those of you who don't know him, Paul's my absolute soul mate!  I love him so dearly!  He also happens to be a Physician Assistant who has spent most of his career working in Neuro Surgery.  He knows quite a bit.  

One time it happened while he was home.  "That sounds just like a migraine with aura" But he decided to call one of his colleagues with a little more experience in the "migraine field" and they both said 99.9% chance migraine - with the added - but go see your primary care doctor, just to maybe get some meds and maybe get it checked out further... That sounded reasonable!  So I'm make preparations for my trip to Nashville.

THE NASH YARN FEST

Nash Yarn Fest was absolutely amazing!!!  I tried to post a bit from the show and there were so many great vendors there - I felt honored to be a part of it.  Modern Daily Knitting is such an amazing brand.  Kay, Ann and their staff were delightful!  My booth was next door to Birdie Parker and Katrinkle's, and the MDK booth and there was right there.  My isle had Lemonwood, Plied, & Cesium.   Alabama Channin (one of my heroes) and Stony Creek Farms (also one of my heroes  - revitalizing indigo commercial farming in Tennessee)  and, and, and... all the big names.  Everyone was simply delightful. 

If you want to see a review - Knitty Natty was there on YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mj_sdcpRMX4 She got all the booths around me - but my booth was pretty packed and she didn't get in.  I'm assuming because she was also trying to focus on "local" dyers and Wisconsin just isn't local to their region.

And to make my visit even more special, one of my best friends from high school, Amy, lives in Louisville, Kentucky.  Amy drove down and stayed with me!  We had the most delightful time catching up.  I've known her for 42 years.  We both were starting at a new high school and tried out for the volleyball team.  We both got cut, but we became fast friends and it was the absolute best to have her with me in Nashville!  My heart was FULL.

And the other BIG highlight!!!  I received the email from Catherine Clark of the Brooklyn General Store - that I had been accepted to be at "The Woolen Affair" show during the Rhinebeck, New York Sheep & Wool shows.  I'm on top of the absolute world!!!

Ok - Back tracking to the more Nash Yarn Fest show stuff...…If you hadn't heard, during the show there was loads of severe weather.  Torrential rains, thunder, lightning,  Weather fronts moving in left and right.  Of course my "head things" were happening during the show.

During set up - I had my "silver streak" headache twice.  Then once again the next day.  It was a bit unnerving - but I kept moving on.

After the show was over and we broke down - same thing....

The next morning, Amy and I stopped at this adorable bagel and coffee shop for breakfast.  Standing in the parking lot....it happened again.  The grey came over again.  Tried to wait a bit to drive - but decided to stick to the right hand lane, so that I wouldn't have to change lanes to see out of my peripheral vision.  It worked and dissipated and I was very relieved to have made it home 9 hours later.

THE MEDICAL UNFOLDING

Monday morning, my primary Dr. Kristi Smith (who is amazing, I might add) had an opening.

We sat down and talked about my symptoms.   "I'd say 99.9% chance that's migraine with aura".  She gave me a prescription to help, but then said - "You know, the only outlier here is your age.  You almost never see this aura thing just come on in your age group".  She sent me for a head MRI - scheduled for a couple of days later.

I show up at the MRI....we do the thing.  The tech says we'll just get the quick scan and most often we don't need the contrast.... but then they come in and do the extra contrast....and then they say - oh we need a few more scans, etc. etc. etc...

And of course - me being the thinker... Maybe it's just an aneurism.  I either die or they just coil it and I'm done.  Boom.

Next thing, I'm dressed - but put alone in a private waiting room - A tech comes in and says there is a finding and that she's not able to say anything else - but that they are trying to reach my primary doctor.

I call Paul in a panic - but only a few moments later Doctor Smith reaches me.... and gently and apologetically tells me that I have METASTATIC BRAIN TUMORS.  I have options - to admit through the ER right then and there or go home and schedule testing.   I finally talked to Paul - and ironically we were admitted to the group he works for - and I went to the ER for further testing that night and the next day.

The CAT scan shows a big tumor in my right lung.  I've never smoked a day in my life.  I just never got into it.  (There's no judgement there  - it's just surprising) This tumor seems to be spreading metastatic disease all through both lungs and into my brain and lymph nodes etc....  They biopsied the lymph nodes and the lung is the definitive source.

So what's going on now?  I'll have to fill you in on all of that later - the good the bad and the ugly.    I'm in the middle of my radiation treatments.  I'll tell you about that stuff later  - there's been some amazing family time too.  Lovely, cherished time with friends and family.

To be honest - aside from the drugs I'm on - I'm not feeling too terrible.  I'll try to talk about that a bit too.

I'll sign off for now.  I'm finally getting tired again -  this not sleeping shit isn't the greatest - but it's a great way to get my thoughts down on these blogs.

Love ya,

-L